Admiral Ace Phillips
"Guardian of the Realm of the Lord and Protector of the Truth"
-Like it or not, here I am in all my genius.
A man named Jason Gord was born yesterday at the remarkable age of 27. When asked about this feat, Jason replied by going on a crazy fucking rampage resulting in the death of four kids, two birds, and a manchester mulligan. According to the multiple eyewitnesses present
The Meaning of Life
I believes in Miracles! Hyuk ->
It is an ominous sign to be hit by a car. It can be predicted that math equations contain numbers and people contain semen. Therefore, one can come to the conclusion that numbers = semen and math equations = people.
Therefore, when looking for the meaning of life, it is as simple as the equation, 4 + 4 = God. In other words.... semen plus ovaries = life and those who do not contain semen are faggots.
Please, Inform My chickensack
I'll rub your mother's cunt with cotton mittens and lick her head as she cums. I'll stick a fork in her stomach and rub her till she's done. When a bowl of chickens is placed gently into a cup of milk the chickens count to 4 and die. Jesus left his pants at the meeting and slipped on a piece of meat. He bumped his head on a nuns breasts and they both had ridiculous orgasms. Ever since then Jesus has been a fucking pedophile and rapes young'ens with golden spatulas. I swear to god I fucking secretly hate women with a fucking passion and they are so lucky that they have fucking tits and pussys and are hot or I would absolutely never talk to any single one of them ever. They are so god damn evil its like god fills their blood with ice and their heads with fucking garbage cause they are all mean and they are all dumb as shit. In a western world full of yellow cowboys, the french fry is king. the onion ring is queen and together they form the union that all life as we know it is based upon. I am not gay, but if guys looked like girls and had vaginas i would be the biggest fucking faggot to ever put on a pair of socks. Im sorry to rant and rave about the empty void that is the entire female race, but you must understand that I would not blink an eye if one day they all shed their beautiful skin and revealed their horns and fucking pointy tails and went back to their home in the depths of hell. A cracker spread with cream cheese is not as pungent as an ovary spread with butter. Liars dance upon my fingers with ice skates until all that is left is my pinky on my left hand so I pick my nose and flick the hunk of soil onto your throat. Taste is genius.
at the scene of the onslaught, Gord lowered his pants and let loose with a barrage of white and yellow projectiles while screaming "Mohammed is the profit for Allah, Mohammed is the profit for Allah?"
Notice the question mark. He shouted this in question format you see. When police arrived at the scene, they shook hands with an elderly gentlemen and rode on a really big roller coaster. The investigation is ongoing, but it can be concluded already that popcorn is a healthier snack than you might think. I can vouch for this, I ate some yesterday with my nephew and then played naked games with his ass cavity. And gee whiz, I feel healthy already!
Seven People
love excrections
Lawrence Jones fell from his pedestal and cracked his nose. Gloria Estefan has the most beautiful voice to ever make my penis erupt, but the fact remains that she is part of the most god awful organization to ever rear its ugly head above the Earth's surface. If my fist was a flaming ball of fury then I would send it flying into the face of every mother fucking dirty bitch to ever be spawned from Satin's seed. Put a glob of mustard on the tips of your fingers and slowly massage its essence into the outer rim of your ass cavity. This way, the next time a whore is licking your hole you can shit on her lips and it will taste like a pastrami-on-rye sandwich and she will marry you on the spot. Lead the dormant serpent into his golden home. Time is running out for the Macy's spectacular.
Fuck those chubby pigs. Do some sit-ups bitches. Go for a walk or something. Just lose a few pounds before you have a stroke. Look like they just ate a fucking water bison. They would look more fit out on the planes of the serenghetti, fucking tearing apart the flesh of a wilder beast with there beastly jaws. I love analogies like a fucking fat bitch loves to eat saturated fat and sticks of butter. I love to use analogies like one of these fucking useless monsters likes to use the elevator instead of the stairs.
Moose Alert..
Today
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